Back cover copy take 1.5

March 30th, 2008

This is the copy suggested by an editor. Better or worse?

Dismembered female corpses wrapped in black bags are being discovered in the back alleys of downtown Milwaukee. The murderer keeps changing his methods and his targets as women of different ages, cialis pharm classes, viagra buy troche and colors are dying. Blogger and crime columnist Elliot Stearns was a Milwaukee homicide detective until a gunman’s bullet left him wheelchair-bound and emotionally crippled. The shooting cost him his legs, his fiancée, and his sense of purpose. Now, a year after the shooting, his best friend and ex-partner, Jack Hartman, needs his help to solve these brutal cases.

As the investigation continues, they discover the women are linked by a common thread—each had undergone an abortion. Whoever murdered the women used the same techniques as a doctor ending a pregnancy. In the quest to find the killer, Elliot discovers that his ex-fiancée, Caroline, may be in danger.

Elliot’s only hope of saving Caroline is to discover who is abducting, torturing, and killing innocent women. Perhaps he will also rediscover himself and gain back his self-respect in the process.

Entry Filed under: The Abortionist

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jenna  |  March 30th, 2008 at 7:41 pm

    I say better only b/c I like that there is more information involved, more details about the story to draw the reader in. But the second sentence in the first paragraph made my brain glaze over–it needs to be sexed up or taken out.

    Is it being published soon?

  • 2. Wendy  |  March 31st, 2008 at 6:40 am

    I say okay, except that if you reveal that Caroline is in danger, does that disclose something that you want the reader to find out as the story develops? Is Caroline in danger because she had an abortion? Does Elliot know she did, or does he find that out as a result of his investigation? (Again, I read the first chapters long ago, and I promised myself I would wait to read them again until I had the book in paper form). If you think it’s okay that the reader knows that going in, then I like this version. It does reveal more of the story, but I don’t know if that is good or bad.

    And I would switch the order of “blogger and crime columnist.” Does he blog and write columns on the side, or the other way around?

    The last sentence seems to tie up what I assume to be the ending in a little bit too pretty of a package. Of course he’s going to fix his emotional self–unless this is a trilogy.

    All that said, I like it. :-)

  • 3. Dean  |  March 31st, 2008 at 7:30 pm

    Wendy makes a lot of good points. In my first reading I thought the first paragraph was awkward but I can’t put my finger on why it is.

    The first two sentences of the second paragraph struck me as revealing too much also, unless you want to reveal that. I would leave those out and put the third sentence with the last paragraph.

    Again it’s a matter of taste and your objective for the back cover.

  • 4. Kate  |  March 31st, 2008 at 7:34 pm

    Yep, I like it..but it does seem to reveal a little too much. Need surprises after getting into the story. No sense in reading it if the cover lets ya in on too many secrets. :) Just my 2 cents.

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