I’m declaring a do-it-yourself war on Self-Serve Checkout Machines!

April 3rd, 2006

You’ve seen them…

…the intimidating new rows in grocery stores and Home Depots where you’re expected to do your own scanning, viagra usa there bagging, viagra no rx and paying.

Well, pilule I’m not doing it.

I don’t work for Home Depot.

THEY are supposed to be working for me.

Why should I provide them with free labor?

Why should I help them employ fewer Americans?

Why am I paying the same amount for less service?

Trust me when I say this is an ominous development.

Who does this benefit?

The corporation…not the customer.

The only conceivable argument in favor of these rascally registers is that they can be faster than the regular checkout line.

Sure. It’s faster now, because no one wants to use them.

How fast do you think it will be when 80-year-old grandmas are forced to use them?

And why the hell do they expect me to pay the same when I’m the one doing the work?

So what can you do?

Well, you can start be doing NOTHING.

Refuse to use them.


If we don’t take a stand now, we’ll soon be standing in front of steaming hot grills in our business suits when McDonald’s institutes its “Be-Your-Own-Fry-Guy” program.

Entry Filed under: Observations,Personal

9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Wendy  |  April 3rd, 2006 at 2:26 pm

    Do you also avoid grocery stores where you have to bag your own groceries? I actually prefer those, because then my melons don’t get squished by some inexperienced teenage bagger.

    I bet you don’t go to a salad bar then, either. ;-) Or get your own soda at fast food restaurants?

    I admit I do like the checkout things where you give them a blank check, the register fills it out and all you have to do is sign it. It saves us all from the 98 year old lady who waits until her groceries are checked out, bagged, and sitting in the cart before she digs out her checkbook and asks “Who do I make this out to again?”

  • 2. Administrator  |  April 3rd, 2006 at 2:30 pm

    Actually, I prefer to bag my own groceries.

    But that’s because I seem to be the only one there who knows that the eggs go at the TOP of the bag. ;)

    (By the way, does Owen know you’re letting teenagers squish your melons?)

  • 3. Owen  |  April 3rd, 2006 at 2:44 pm

    I do now!!!


  • 4. Wendy  |  April 3rd, 2006 at 3:00 pm

    I’m cheap. I don’t tip, so a melon squish is all they get.

  • 5. Wendy  |  April 3rd, 2006 at 6:13 pm

    I’m sure Owen apologizes for typing that really long word that broke your blog. Sorry.

    Next time, yell at me with fewer exclamation points, Honey.

  • 6. grumps  |  April 4th, 2006 at 7:32 am

    Elliott, these are the same arguments we old-timers used against self-serve gas stations and you see how that turned out for us.

    Owen, you have my commiseration. My wife kisses her mechanic. She says it was lots easier to find a second husband than it would be to find another good mechanic.

  • 7. Administrator  |  April 4th, 2006 at 9:42 am


    You guys win.

    But I’m calling Peapod.

  • 8. Billiam  |  April 4th, 2006 at 11:21 am

    I don’t bag my grocieries, either. There are 2 full service stations here in the Bay, same price as self-serve. I won’t go to one because he sells ethanol. The other is out of my way.

  • 9. From Where I Sit » &hellip  |  October 23rd, 2006 at 10:45 am

    […] A few months ago, I declared war on self-serve checkout machines. […]

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