If humans were created instead of evolved…

May 6th, 2006

…why do men have nipples?

Just wondering.

Entry Filed under: Observations

14 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Casper  |  May 6th, 2006 at 9:48 pm

    Because we need to have something to pierce and piss our parents off with?

  • 2. addy  |  May 6th, 2006 at 10:35 pm

    Because God invented titty twisters…Duhh!

  • 3. Administrator  |  May 6th, 2006 at 10:56 pm

    Actually, I think Abel invented titty twisters. Which explains why Cain killed his butt. ;)

  • 4. Joey  |  May 6th, 2006 at 11:51 pm

    So those with gender identity confusion can get a sex change. Duh! (Because remember, there’s no difference between males and females, and to say there is even such a thing as gender is to show some kind of unseemly bias…)

  • 5. tee bee  |  May 8th, 2006 at 10:57 am

    Two words, Elliot: Prototype.

  • 6. Administrator  |  May 8th, 2006 at 11:34 am

    Ouch.

    That hurts.

    Though, actually, that’s another good point:

    How did God even know we were going to NEED nipples?

    If man’s freewill hadn’t made him screw up, would there even have been babies?

    Now that I think about this, it really doesn’t make any sense at all.

    Did Eve have all the right baby plumbing when she was created or did God have to retrofit?

  • 7. Nick  |  May 8th, 2006 at 1:05 pm

    Oh come on now… I can’t be the only guy who likes his nipples pinched…

    Hmmm… did I just share too much?

  • 8. tee bee  |  May 9th, 2006 at 3:25 pm

    If man’s freewill hadn’t made him screw up, would there even have been babies?

    Now that I think about this, it really doesn’t make any sense at all.

    Did Eve have all the right baby plumbing when she was created or did God have to retrofit?

    Don’t you think babies were the good idea, all along? So why wouldn’t Eve have the right plumbing – if the fall caused the disruption of virtually everything, including the earth, plants, etc., that would explain why something that can and sometimes does work quite nicely is painful for most of us. Something like percussive maintenance in reverse.

    Most women enjoy being pregnant, even when they are sick and experience major changes in their bodies and their lives. Many women don’t notice a difference until the late stages.

    How bad can that be? I think hype gives it a bad rap.

    Plus, I think nipples on guys is an aesthetic thing. I think they’re cute, and on the young, they’re even quite beautiful. What would a chest look like without them? I imagine like a face without a nose.

  • 9. tee bee  |  May 9th, 2006 at 3:26 pm

    Ummmm…. can I make that last entry anonymous? ;-)

  • 10. Fuzz Martin  |  May 10th, 2006 at 6:30 am

    If man’s freewill hadn’t made him screw up, would there even have been babies?

    Omniscience is a crazy thing, huh? We’ll never understand everything. He already does.

  • 11. Nick  |  May 10th, 2006 at 10:03 am

    I mean honestly… have you ever looked at the plumbing up close? Lots of wierd extra folds and strange tubes up in there. Plus their plubing is constanly leaking… like once a month. That has to be a retrofit job. ;)

  • 12. Aaron  |  May 10th, 2006 at 11:28 am

    That has to be a retrofit job.

    All that cramping and bloating could be the penalty for taking the apple in the first place.

  • 13. Fuzz Martin  |  May 11th, 2006 at 5:22 am

    I totally meant to put this line as the one I was quoting, “How did God even know we were going to NEED nipples?”

    I need a vacation. In fact… I’m going to take one tomorrow.

  • 14. Administrator  |  May 11th, 2006 at 12:07 pm

    I was actually going to let the whole free will thing pass, but I just can’t.

    If God is omniscient it completely removes free will from mankind.

    Why?

    If God is all-knowing, then he already knows everything I’m going to do even BEFORE he creates me.

    And if God doesn’t like what I’m going to do, He could have chosen to create me slightly differently.

    Because he created me the way he did HE is responsible for my actions. Not me.

    I was never really free because He created me in such a way that I was predestined to make the decision I did/will make.

    Because he easily could have created me in a way where I would have acted differently than I do.

    (For example, he could have made Eve so that she had no curiosity about apples. Clearly Adam wasn’t curious. Eve was only curious because God gave her a little more of that particular trait.)

    The only way I can truly have free will is if God doesn’t know what I’m going to do ahead of time.

    So you can either believe in an omniscent God or free will, but not both.

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Being in a wheelchair gives you a unique perspective on the world. This blog features many of my views on politics, art, science, and entertainment. My name is Elliot Stearns. More...

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