Aphorism cookies?

June 5th, 2007

What ever happened to Fortune Cookies?

They used to contain actual fortunes like:

You will soon take a long journey.

or

You will be accosted by tap-dancing cockroaches.

But now they are almost invaribly stuffed with aphorisms instead of fortunes.

Like the two I got, viagra generic stuff today:

A feeling is an idea with roots.

and

A clean conscience is a good pillow.

Not even adding “in bed” to the end can make these sound very interesting.

On the other hand, rx the best fortune cookie I ever got was also an aphorism:

The best love, is self-love.

Trying adding “in bed” to the end of THAT one.

Entry Filed under: Observations

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Nick  |  June 5th, 2007 at 2:09 pm

    I’ve noticed the same thing. I even blogged a few of those myself. The last “fortune” I got was “Everything you add to the truth subtracts from the truth”. Adding “in bed’ to that seems rather ominous.

  • 2. Owen  |  June 5th, 2007 at 6:56 pm

    I object to the “command cookies.” Like those that say, “Commit acts of kindness.” Who the hell are they to tell me what to do!?!?

  • 3. Administrator  |  June 6th, 2007 at 10:24 am

    I guess that’s just the way the cookie crumbles, Owen. ;)

  • 4. Wendy  |  June 6th, 2007 at 10:38 am

    The last time we had fortune cookies, our 11 year old had one that said “Romance awaits you.” Mine was something about education being key to future success.

    She wouldn’t trade with me.

  • 5. Administrator  |  June 6th, 2007 at 10:44 am

    Sounds like she’s pretty smart already!

  • 6. Dean  |  June 6th, 2007 at 9:01 pm

    I never notice the sayings; I look for the lucky numbers to play the lottery.

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Being in a wheelchair gives you a unique perspective on the world. This blog features many of my views on politics, art, science, and entertainment. My name is Elliot Stearns. More...

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